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“rain, heartbeats of rain”

Between grief and nothing, I will take grief.–William Faulkner As is my nature, I have been thinking a lot about the nature of grief while grieving. For the past year since my Mom passed the past three years in the wake of both of my parent’s deaths, I have lived a million distinct deaths–some catastrophic and paralyzing me in my bed, some miniscule and annoying like a fly at night in the heat of West Virginia. But always grief Grief is there, a companion in my life–more than a stage or an emotion. Sometimes he sits on my chest and tells me Read More

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"rain, heartbeats of rain"

Between grief and nothing, I will take grief.–William Faulkner As is my nature, I have been thinking a lot about the nature of grief while grieving. For the past year since my Mom passed the past three years in the wake of both of my parent’s deaths, I have lived a million distinct deaths–some catastrophic and paralyzing me in my bed, some miniscule and annoying like a fly at night in the heat of West Virginia. But always grief Grief is there, a companion in my life–more than a stage or an emotion. Sometimes he sits on my chest and tells me Read More

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my inner warrior

On Tuesday, I started Yoga Teacher Training (YTT). Right beforehand (I mean why not start off sweaty, right!?), I went to one of the classes led by the instructor of the program. I love yoga, and most classes I leave renewed in spirit and/or sparked in insight. But this class went beyond that… She started by shouting out all the yogis embarking on the YTT program; it went something like this: Today I’d like to honor and recognize those taking on the challenge of our YTT program. These people are demonstrating so much strength, so much courage to dive so Read More

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yoga, to me

The following is my first homework assignment for Yoga Teacher Training (YTT). The prompt: What is Yoga and Why I do I practice Yoga? Yoga is a prayer. It is a moment to pause in humility, honoring the fact that I am created, and that in this creation I can do beautiful poses–or perhaps fall out of beautiful poses. In countless classes, I have carried the weight of those near and dear to my heart, and through yoga, I have sent them my energy. On my mat, I have interceded for them. Yoga is a collective breath. It is syncopating with the Read More

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an ocean poem

“beach glass: or what I found on the beach” the sea is a turquoise heart pulsating with life ever filtering, ever glittering with each wave, pumping lifeblood into a million liquid heartbeat stories of salt. I, too, am heart.   the sea is a pillowey breath inhaling and exhaling from our collective lungs sometimes deep crashing sometimes tranquil bobbing a rhythmic circle of give & take, claim & release liquid surrender to the storied sands of time. I, too, am breath.  

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what I wish I would have known as a newlywed

This post, just like this one, is a part of the Synchroblog series, a group of diverse bloggers exploring through words what matters. This month’s prompt: If I could go back in time and tell myself something I wish I knew… This month marks the 12th(!) marriage anniversary for my best friend and I. And like all relationships, ours was born of a certain context which defined the paradigms of “us.” Our marriage nearly ended after it begun; some of those paradigms created the toxic battle ground on which we almost imploded. So if I could, I would go back and redefine Read More

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how not to finish a school year

Tomorrow I leave for Cancun. And here’s my confession: there is no joy in that statement. Not yet, at least. For the past two Junes, we have traveled to the humid, beach sanctuary devoid of technology and flooded with tequila shots at the swim-up bar. It is what we need to reconnect…with God, with each other, with ourselves–and for last year and this year–with our best friends. But I sit here, surrounded by snotty tissues, coughing my lungs up, eyes puffy from crying and nose sore from running and chest sore from hacking. Of course, the minute I am “on Read More