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you, too, are welcome here: the anxieties of change

When I was in high school, I lacked the finesse required to to discern my own levels of stress. Instead, in alignment with what I was taught and that which I believed, I held tightly to the safety net of God: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. In my world: anxiety = atheism. But as much as I ached in my deepest soul to believe this, my body said otherwise. I was plagued with random stomach pains that I could not identify. Sometimes they were Read More

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breath. earth.

Lately I’ve been stepping on a lot of crap–cords and belts and shoes and brooms and oh, there’s my underwear. This is because the beloved chipping-green-and-red-refuge we’ve called home for the past eight years is currently in the process of being dismantled and divided and donated as we prepare for our adventure to Brazil. I’ve gone to heat water forgetting the microwave is sold; I’ve gone to eat takeout on the plates currently in our friends’ homes; I’ve gone to sit at the table that’s no longer there. We are living in a construction zone: the construction of a new Read More

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let go. let it flow.

She saw him: beside me, to my right. She described him: a darker man, probably indigenous, dressed in the traditional garb of some ancient culture, regal headdress upon his crown, holding a spear as if standing guard. She said: the minute I declared I wanted to teach overseas, he started banging his spear up and down, in rhythm to some chant I didn’t know I knew. She emphasized: he would not guide me, that was for me to courageously do on my own. But, once I made a bold move, he would open doors for me and ease my transition Read More

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election day metta prayer

For the self: May I loosen in surrender May I linger in light May I laugh in joy May I luxuriate in love May I  live in peace.   For the other: May you loosen in surrender May you linger in light May you laugh in joy May you luxuriate in love May you live in peace.   For the community: May we loosen in surrender May we linger in light May we laugh in joy May we luxuriate in love May we live in peace.    

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on energy: weapons of mass destruction

I recognize that the minute the word energy enters a conversation, visceral reactions will rise: images of granola-eating-gurus, feelings of heebie jeebies, and slippery concepts like “consciousness” and “law of attraction” and “universe.” I used to be that person. Maybe I still I am that person. But…as I find myself changing the way I view myself and the world around me and the God above (?) me, I cannot help but come back to that word: energy. I have always believed in the power of language, but that confidence is grounded in the inadequacies of language to fully capture that which matters. When I Read More